Count Your Blessings

Happy New Year! I'm still here and have made it to another year! What a blessing. Even though this blog is titled just bitching it really is about blessings. Believe it or not I count my blessing every day! One of my biggest blessings is that I'm not as fucked up as most other people! But in all seriousness I'm thankful for my family and it's newest member Joshua Alexander. Welcome to the world Joshua! Here is my message to little Joshua:

Dear Joshua,

Though you are a wee thing right now you have a world of experiences just waiting for you. Your first steps, your first words, your first day at school. I am so jealous of you in so many ways. Life is truly a wonderland when you are a child especially a new born! Someone is there to feed you, clothe you, hold you. Hell, there's even someone to wipe your butt! How cool is that!? So remember these words of wisdom from your dear old (and jaded) uncle Paul. Act as crazy as you can for as long as you can! Never leave home! Make your parents take care of you for as long as possible. Because dude, it's hell out here! You would have to go to school for what seems like forever! Then you will have to get a job and work for another eternity! If you are one of the lucky ones you just may have enough money for retirement but the way things are going these days I wouldn't hold my breathe! So little Joshua, you should always count your blessings. You have a wonderful mother and father who you can torture for the next 18 years and they will love you no matter what. So go ahead and have those tantrums in the mall, your mama won't mind. And go ahead and wreck your dad's car as soon as your get your license. Your dad won't mind. Because they love you. You are probably going to get a few spankings now and then but once you find the right chords you can play them like a violin and that will be music to your ears! Remember, it's all about the love (and acting crazy).

Sarcastically,

Uncle Paul