Well it's been a while since I had to talk about people and that should be a good sign. Maybe that means I was on my way to the next plain of existence? You know that whole Oprah thing as you move up the ladder to self realization or some shit like that. Well guess what, I've fallen a few wrungs on that ladder! It's time to talk about folks! As many of you know, I have exhibited an extraordinary amount of will power with my whole fitness craze and diet (OK pseudo diet). You have seen the trials and tribulations I must endure with the office I work in. They are constantly bringing in food of every ilk. I must give a big shout out to my very good friend Luther who was so kind as to bring me grahm crackers on the day somebody decided to bring in pies (yes, that's plural) and cake (the cake was for someone's birthday. I didn't get a cake for my birthday but I will save that bitching for another post).

So you are saying to yourself, "Pauly, what could be the matter? Sounds like you have it all under control!" You couldn't be more wrong! Today after a vigorous workout I walk into the office and headed for the kitchen to get my morning tea (Earl Grey of course. That's what Captain Picard drinks!). While I'm walking to the kitchen my nose is going into over drive. What the hell is that delicious smell? When I get there I could not believe that someone was cooking BACON in the toaster oven! I was like, "Oh Hell naw!!!! These mother fuckers have just went overboard now!" The other thing I was thinking is if I could have some! I desperately wanted to know who the hell was cooking bacon. Come to find out the culprit was the largest of us all. He is a very nice portly (OK, he's fucking fat!) Mexican man who works in our mail room. OH HELL NAW!!!!! I swear to you the one thing that kept going through my mind was if I could remember CPR because this boy is going to go into cardiac arrest and somebody will have to keep his ass alive until the paramedics come. I think I had better sign up for a class this weekend!!!