Not a big fish story

Lately I have been reading…Books! Can you believe that?! I’ve had my head so far up a computer’s ass I thought I was going to turn into a cyborg! But alas, no such luck. I will not be as plugged in as I would like. Personally I think it would be über cool to have a chip in my head that connects me directly to massive databases and the Internet. Wow! But I digress. So anyway, I have been getting some of my information old school style. I have read several really good books lately. One was about using higher spatial dimensions to derive an equation of everything (small and weak nuclear forces, electromagnetic and gravitational forces). It was titled Hyperspace. Yes, I read dorky stuff like that. Another was about the current situation in the Middle East and how we are doomed to repeat history and fuck it up. I think that one was called Western Footprints. I’ve also read a book about how you can NOT live on minimum wage. It’s called Nickel and Dimed. Excellent book. My next venture was to read a novel, something of fiction. My selections were just getting too serious! So I thought why not read a classic like Moby Dick. OK, you nasty basards, I’m talking about the original novel by Herman Melville!

I thought this would be a good time to dust off the old library card (which I had never used) and give this classic some much needed air. I was able to implement my former library aid skills (I worked in the library in college) and figure their system out with much rapidity. I made a beeline to the shelf where it should be. Can you believe it? They didn’t have it. Not only that, they just don’t carry it at that branch! A classic like Moby Dick and it isn’t part of their permanent collection? What gives?? I was able to find it in other branch libraries why not this one? Is it because the library is in the hood? Who knows. I did notice they had plenty of videos and books on tape at the library. Bingo! They didn’t have it in print but they did have it on tape. I guess the people who patronize my branch library are just too stupid to read the 500+ page book so the branch settled for the book on tape. That’s just wonderful. After this little discovery I realized that all I wanted was something to read on the train so I made a bee line over to the sci-fi section and picked two Star Trek: Next Generation novels from the shelf. If you can’t get a meal for the mind then cheetos will have to do!

Back in Black

To quote the title of one of my favorite Heavy Metal bands. I feel like I'm back in black because I'm back at work this week. Prior to last week I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown or seriously going postal on someone. For those of you who know me you pick which direction I was headed. Though I believe I look good in orange I don't believe I am meant to wear it from head to toe! Hence my short, short hiatus from work. I did not leave town though that was part of my plan. I would have loved to check out Apple River in Western Illinois where my friend Pat lives or even just pop over to St. Joseph Michigan where other friends have a house but alas, the piggy bank was bare! Which was fine because it was a crappy weekend. I still had a nice time off work and it did me a world of good. The voices in my head have been quieted for now.

On the flip side, election day is exactly two weeks from today. If you have not registered to vote by now then, "No soup for you!!!" if Bush wins. If you did register to vote then put November 2nd in your calendar and walk, run, crawl, roll or even astrally project yourself down to the polls and VOTE!!! Let's welcome George Bush back to Texas. I will buy the confetti.

The Worst Week Ever

I don't know if this has been the worst week of my life but it rates right up there. It started off this weekend with my friend whose boyfriend got a little violent with her because she kicked his lame, drug dealing, lying, cheating, ass out of the apartment. Oh, and we (myself and a couple of other friends) were trying to find him to find out what the fuck was going on. So that was Saturday. Sunday was great! That's because I got drunk which means Monday at work was awful. Actually, this whole week at work has been awful. Everyone here has been getting on my nerves. Crying about every little fucking thing. Oh, on top of that I'm sick as a dog. I have allergies and a cold. So I'm drugged up on Benedryl and I-don't-know-what-the-fuck. I'm just popping pills to take away the pain of work. Agh! I'm a druggy!!!!!!!

I'm also sick of being on the Condo board. We just got a new furnace for the building and I JUST changed bank accounts which means I don't have checks yet to pay the installers. So I had to go to the bank yesterday to get a cashier's check. Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to get a cashiers check for $8600 when you don't have an account number or checks? I know, dumb question. I finally got the check after spending my entire lunch hour at the bank. One good thing, I was able to leave work early yesterday to pay the furnace installers. If this sounds like a marathon of bitching then you are right! I'm in a foul, foul mood and need a break. I just got the OK from my boss that I could take time off next week. Yippie!!! If he were here I would hug him. Now I have bigger problems. If I get next week off what the hell am I going to do?! OK, OK, I will say it, "Stop your bitching already!"

Knee Deep In It

The discussion for today is the Thursday night presidential debates. BORING!! This was definitely TV viewing for insomniacs. The American public is being spoon fed a load of crap from the Democratic and Republican parties. They have debate-jacked the debates from any other would be contenders and have turned it into some pasturized, homoginized white bread with mayonnaise affair. Did anyone listen to the rules that were agreed to? It was like a laundry list! Don't talk directly to your opponent. No comments from the audience (i.e. don't even cough!). etc, etc. I could barely stand to look at either of them during the debate. The only thing that made it interesting was when ABC violated one of the rules and did a split screen of the candidates. While Kerry was speaking they also had a shot of Bush looking pissed off and stupid. That was the only thing that made it half way interesting.

You should all know my opinion on the whole presidential race by now. I despise this president and think he needs to go but I am also no huge fan of John Kerry. He is simply the lesser of two evils in my mind. At least he does have vision enough not to be a unilateralist. Also, since this debate was regarding foreign policy what the hell happened to the Isreali-Palestinian issue??? HELLO!!! And we heard about the 1000+ service members who have lost their lives but neither candidate mentioned the thousands of Iraquis who have been killed. I wonder if that was one of the "don'ts" outlined in the rules. As a symbolic gesture of the deep shit we find ourselves in regardless of who wins and the shit that was coming out of both candidates' mouths I soaked and washed my feet during the debate. Always remember, if you find yourself standing in shit you better wash your feet!